10 common myths about divorce

Divorce is never easy, but it can feel all the more overwhelming when friends, relatives and the internet offer conflicting advice. 

It is very common for people to begin the process with worries based on things they have “heard somewhere” and these myths about divorce can cause real anxiety at a time when clarity matters most.

To help separate facts from fiction, Justin Creed, family law solicitor and legal director in Lodders’ Family law team, shares 10 of the most common myths about divorce in England and Wales, and the truth behind them.

1. “Divorce is always a fight”

Many people picture divorce as a long, bitter court battle, but that isn’t true for most couples. The reality is that the majority of divorces are resolved through agreement, negotiation or mediation.  Court is usually only needed where there is a dispute about children or finances that can’t be resolved in any other way.

Taking a constructive approach, with the right legal guidance, can reduce stress, save money and keep communication civil throughout proceedings.

2. “We’ve been separated for 2 years, so the divorce will be automatic”

The law changed in April 2022 to introduce no-fault divorce, removing the need to rely on separation periods or blame. Even if you have been separated for years, the process is not automatic. You still need to apply for a divorce and follow the formal steps.

While separation can be relevant when sorting out finances, it no longer speeds up or replaces the legal process itself.

3. “Everything is split 50/50”

This is a myth about divorce we hear frequently. A 50/50 division is a common starting point, but it isn’t a rule.  The court’s aim is fairness not equality for its own sake. It considers factors such as:

• Your financial needs
• Children’s housing and stability
• Income and earning capacity
• Contributions to family law
• The value of all assets

As a result, one person may receive a larger share if they need it – for example, to house the children.

4. “My spouse had an affair, so I will get more in the settlement”

Under the current law, conduct such as adultery rarely affects financial outcomes. Only behaviour that is exceptionally serious and financially relevant would be considered, although that is not guaranteed. The focus is firmly on practical needs, not blame.

5. “If the house is in my name, my spouse has no claim”

Legal ownership alone doesn’t determine what is fair. Even if the family home is registered in the name of one spouse, the other may still be entitled to a share because of their financial needs, contributions, or the fact that the home served as the centre of family life. The family home is often treated as a joint asset regardless of whose name appears on the deeds. Find out more about what happens to the family home on divorce here.

6. “We can sort the finances later – the divorce ends our financial ties”

A common myth about divorce is that the divorce itself brings your financial links to an end. The truth is, you remain financially connected to your former spouse until there is a financial order, approved by the court. Without one, claims can remain open, even years after you have divorced. A clean break order can therefore protect both spouses and provide certainty for the future.

7. “Common-law marriage gives the same rights as being married”

This is one of the most persistent myths about divorce. In actuality, there is no such thing as common law marriage in England and Wales, no matter how long you have lived together; unmarried couples do not have automatic rights to each other’s assets. This myth can cause real hardship, which is why advice is so important for co-habiting couples. Read our blog on cohabitation agreements for more details.

8. “I can stay in the family home until the children are grown up – that is guaranteed”

It’s true that children’s needs are the top priority, and in many cases the primary carer does stay in the home, but this is not guaranteed. Sometimes the home must be sold to meet both spouses housing needs. Other times, orders can be made to delay the sale until children reach a certain age, or until the death or remarriage of one of the parties.

Every case is different, and decisions depend on affordability, fairness and the wider financial picture.

9. “We don’t need anything in writing – we trust each other”

Many couples separate amicably and that is a positive, but even the friendliest of agreements should be made legally binding. Without a financial consent order on divorce, informal agreements aren’t enforceable.

Circumstances can change, such as new partners, new jobs, or new homes being added to the picture, and a formal agreement protects both of you. A written order avoids misunderstandings later and gives clarity for the future.

10. “Solicitors make things worse”

Another common myth about divorce is that involving a solicitor will create conflict. In reality, a good family lawyer aims to do the opposite. Solicitors help you:

• Understand your rights
• Avoid unnecessary disputes
• Stay focused on practical outcomes
• Keep discussions fair and respectful
• Finalise agreements properly.

Legal advice isn’t about “fighting” – it’s about helping you both to find a calm, informed way forward. 

Separating myths about divorce from reality

The end of a marriage is a stressful time, and it is easy to let emotions take hold. But having clear, accurate information can make the process feel far more manageable.

If you are considering divorce or are unsure about your rights, you do not need to navigate it alone.  At Lodders, we help clients understand their options and make decisions that protect their wellbeing and future security. Please get in touch with our Family law experts for confidential, discreet advice tailored to your situation.